Monday, January 16, 2012

Lets Get Real

I had a terrible weekend.

Actually, my weekend wasn't too bad. I turned 30 on Saturday. I love that I am 30. For me, thirty is good. I am content with who I am. I know what I want from life. I am secure with my inner self. What I am not okay with is my weight.

I am overweight by a lot. I said earlier that I wanted to lose about 35 pounds. I really need to lose at least 50 to be considered a "healthy weight". According to my BMI, I am obese.

Obese. What an ugly word. What an ugly feeling.

I don't "see" myself as obese, but that is the reality.

A reality that is scary. I went shopping for some non maternity pants. I am on the cusp of needing to shop in the plus size section. The section that sells elastic waisted pants. I don't want to be there. I never thought I would be. I don't "feel" plus sized. Perhaps that is the scary part.

Whats worse is, I know better. My major in college was nutrition, and fitness education.  It is embarrassing to tell people that. One would never guess. I know all the problems my body can face. Diabetes, hypertension, and heart attack to name a few.  I have three good reasons to take care of my health. They are 3, 2, and 2 months old.

They deserve a healthy mother. They deserve a healthy life themselves.

So here I am, ready for this journey. I am under no illusion that this is going to be easy. It is going to be hard. I will have to work at it every day. I can and will succeed at this. I have to. My life depends on it.

4 comments:

Trish said...

Oh Michelle--I'm sitting here at work reading this and crying. I don't know how I can help other than to offer my love and support, but please know that I'm here if you ever ever need me.

I'm proud of you for making this step--I imagine it was so hard pressing the "publish" button, but I hope that in the end it brings you happiness and peace.

Love you. And many hugs. xoxo

Rae said...

Oh Shellie. I am bursting with pride for you. Your courage and strength is inspiring to me.
Love you!

Elise said...

Happy late birthday!

You are strong for putting yourself out there on the www. Good for you for having the courage & desire to embark on the journey to been healthy. And knowing you can succeed! :)

Heather Rae said...

Right there with ya, Mich! You can do it. So can I. It's a long hard road, let's help each other and maybe make it a little bit easier.