Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sunday Confessional

"Today you are You, that's truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
                                            -Dr. Suess

Every week I want to be accountable for the goals I have set for myself. I want this to be a place I can be completely honest. I want to succeed in this goal. I don't want my weight loss to be one of those things that I lose sight of.  I want to do this for real. I can do this for real.

This last week was really motivating. I lost 4 lbs. Not too shabby. I am under no impression that I will lose all my weight that fast. I don't want to lose it that fast. My husband made the comment that "if losing weight was that easy, no one would keep the weight off. Once you lose a lot of weight with a lot of effort, you want to keep it off." Perhaps that is one reason why fad diets don't work.

So far:
-I have started the Couch to 5K plan.
-I have started counting my calories. Calories In and Calorie Out.
-I am trying to eat at least 20g of fiber a day. I would like to increase that to 35 eventually, but want to increase slowly for obvious reasons :)

Weekly Weight Loss/Gain:  -4
Total Weight Loss/Gain: -4

I want to stay positive and motivated. Your comments and encouragement do help a lot. So thank you.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Lets Get Real

I had a terrible weekend.

Actually, my weekend wasn't too bad. I turned 30 on Saturday. I love that I am 30. For me, thirty is good. I am content with who I am. I know what I want from life. I am secure with my inner self. What I am not okay with is my weight.

I am overweight by a lot. I said earlier that I wanted to lose about 35 pounds. I really need to lose at least 50 to be considered a "healthy weight". According to my BMI, I am obese.

Obese. What an ugly word. What an ugly feeling.

I don't "see" myself as obese, but that is the reality.

A reality that is scary. I went shopping for some non maternity pants. I am on the cusp of needing to shop in the plus size section. The section that sells elastic waisted pants. I don't want to be there. I never thought I would be. I don't "feel" plus sized. Perhaps that is the scary part.

Whats worse is, I know better. My major in college was nutrition, and fitness education.  It is embarrassing to tell people that. One would never guess. I know all the problems my body can face. Diabetes, hypertension, and heart attack to name a few.  I have three good reasons to take care of my health. They are 3, 2, and 2 months old.

They deserve a healthy mother. They deserve a healthy life themselves.

So here I am, ready for this journey. I am under no illusion that this is going to be easy. It is going to be hard. I will have to work at it every day. I can and will succeed at this. I have to. My life depends on it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A Bit Rambley

Some Updates:

Actual conversation that happened today:

Emmory: Mother (yes, she calls me mother), when you went to the hospital, did the dr rip open your tummy to get Ens out?
Me: what?!
Emmory: Did the dr use scissors and rip your tummy when you went to the hospital?
Me: ummm... you are too young to be analyzing this scenario. You are three and I am creeped out right now. We will talk about this in a couple years, okay?
Emmory: okay!

This little peanut is turning two next week. Two! It feels like she just joined our little bunch. I was thinking about doing a cookies and milk party for her. Any ideas for cookie flavors? Recipes?

This little one is a dream. She is such a good baby. She sleeps really well, and I have transitioned from two to three kids pretty well. I believe it had to do with my anticipation level. I was really nervous, because going from one to two kids was really tough for me. However, so far so good.

Now for the Rambles:

-We haven't been out of the house much, so I am getting a little stir crazy. I am still not sure about taking three kids 3 and under out and about. Especially with Emmory and her contrary attitude.

-I haven't really made too many resolutions for the year. For some reason, it still feels like I still have time to make them. The three that I have set in stone are:
       1. Lose 35 pounds.
       2. Face one of my fears (heights) maybe a zip line or hot air balloon. 
       3. Read 20 novels this year.
That's it. Easy enough huh?

-I would love to take a family vacation. Disneyland? My kids would go crazy. If I can manage to stay un-pregnant (I will!) this fall would be a perfect time.

-Back to losing weight, confession time. Losing weight is super hard. I find myself making so many excuses. But it needs to come off. This is really hard to admit, but food is my comfort. I find myself eating my feelings too often. How to find the will power? I thought I would try to do a very raw and honest blogging of my journey, but I don't know if I dare to open up that much. This is something that I am very insecure about, and I usually fail at all attempts. Anything that helps y'all would be so welcome here. What do you think?

-Sorry, but I have to say it... I am thrilled the Broncos are in the playoffs. I usually hate (!) football, but this season has been a fun season to watch.

-I can't wait to watch Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. It opens this weekend here in Denver, plus its my birthday this weekend too. 

-I am turning 30! I am so proud of who I have become from 10+ years ago, that I am embracing my thirties as the best time of my life.

-Something added to my bucket list. Go on a game show. I don't care what one. Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, Who's Still Standing (have you seen that one?).

-Hopefully I will starting posting more frequently than once every couple of months.